Parental Views on Friendships May Affect Children’s Behavior, Study Reveals

Two boys watching a soccer game together.

A new study reveals that parents’ attempts to curb bad behavior by disapproving of their children’s friendships may actually worsen behavioral issues.

At a Glance

Maternal disapproval of friendships linked to increased child behavioral problems
Disapproval led to decline in peer relationships and social standing
Rejected children lose opportunities to develop crucial social skills
Experts recommend building strong parent-child relationships instead of restricting friendships

Study Reveals Unintended Consequences of Parental Disapproval

A groundbreaking study published in The Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry has uncovered a concerning trend: parental disapproval of children’s friendships may lead to increased behavioral issues. Dr. Brett Laursen of Florida Atlantic University led the research, which tracked 562 middle schoolers and found that maternal disapproval, in particular, negatively affects peer relationships and exacerbates conduct problems.

The study’s findings challenge the common parental strategy of attempting to curb bad behavior by restricting or disapproving of certain friendships. Instead of improving behavior, this approach often backfires, leading to social isolation and intensified misbehavior. Experts emphasize that friendships play a critical role in emotional and social development during adolescence.

Imagine losing friends because of parental disapproval—children face social isolation and distress when friendships are banned. Building supportive relationships instead can make all the difference. #communitymatters #belonging #HumanConnection https://t.co/WQrFanevhB

— GenWell (@GenWellProject) September 6, 2024

The Ripple Effect of Maternal Disapproval

The research revealed a troubling chain reaction triggered by maternal disapproval of friendships. When mothers expressed disapproval, it often led to a decline in their child’s social standing among peers. This, in turn, resulted in fewer opportunities for positive social interactions and skill development. As a consequence, behavioral problems tended to escalate rather than improve.

“The findings are important because they speak to the mechanism that translates disapproval of friends into elevated behavior problems. Maternal friend disapproval has counterproductive consequences for behavior problems because of the deleterious impact it has on peer status,” said Laursen, in FAU’s Charles E. Schmidt College of Science.

The study found that maternal disapproval often caused classmates to actively dislike the child, further intensifying behavior issues. This social rejection can force children to seek companionship with poorly adjusted peers, potentially exacerbating existing behavioral problems.

The Importance of Peer Relationships in Adolescent Development

Experts stress that friendships are crucial for identity formation and social learning during adolescence. When these bonds are severed due to parental intervention, children can become isolated, leading to increased frustration and misbehavior. The loss of peer status elevates the risk of behavior problems due to increased distress and challenges in developing appropriate coping mechanisms.

“Social opportunities are likely to wither as peers avoid affiliating with someone who is depicted as uncool,” explained researcher Brett Laursen, a professor of psychology at Florida Atlantic University.

Rejected children often miss out on developing age-appropriate social skills, which are essential for emotional growth and future success in social situations. This deficit can have long-lasting effects on a child’s ability to form and maintain healthy relationships throughout their lives.

Positive Alternatives to Friend Prohibition

Instead of restricting friendships, experts recommend that parents focus on building strong, supportive relationships with their children. This approach can provide a buffer against negative peer influences and help guide children towards healthier social interactions. Dr. Alexandra Stratyner, a clinical psychologist not involved in the study, emphasizes the importance of maintaining open lines of communication with children.

“Parents should consider positive alternatives to friend prohibition,” said Laursen. “Focus on maintaining positive relationships with children, because warmth and support can be effective buffers against troublesome peer pressure, potentially disrupting the downward spiral of peer problems and adjustment difficulties.”

Experts suggest creating opportunities for children to engage with peers in supervised, constructive settings. This approach allows parents to monitor their children’s social interactions while still providing the freedom necessary for healthy social development. By fostering a supportive home environment and encouraging positive peer relationships, parents can help their children navigate the complex social landscape of adolescence without resorting to counterproductive restrictions.